Please Share!

I have been having a hard time teaching my son to share.  I know that all kids don’t share from time to time and the behavior varies from mild to wild and from child to child.  I have the wild child!

Oh, I don’t know what to do.  I’ve tried everything but my son thinks every material thing belongs to him.  I’ve tried going back in my mind to see where in the world he learned to be like this but I can’t think where but I know that he must have learned it from somewhere.  I don’t use words like it’s mine, instead I say things like, “that belongs to mama” or something of that nature but never the first person terms.  He takes everything away from his sister, even her own toys and claims them as his own.  He refuses to share anything with her.  Needless to say, they fight over toys a lot.

The Bribe.  It is so important to have five minutes of peace from time to time, especially after a long day but explaining to a 4-year old to please share with his sister because mama is tired occurs only in my dreams.  So I tell my son that I will give him his favorite dessert as a snack if he stops fighting and share with his sister.  It works like a charm…if only for those 5 minutes.  Oh, come on!  I need at least five minutes!   Hahahaha!

The Threat.  “Son, if you don’t share those toys with your sister, you are going straight to your room until dinner time!”  For him five minutes in his room is an eternity and it does work…sort of.  I don’t really leave him in there for very long and he is ok for about half an hour before he starts up again.  He calms down because my daughter has all the toys for herself for a little while and he doesn’t want to lose any of his toys to her, so he behaves.  I would like to make this stick.

Pleading.  “Please, son, please share your toys.  Half of those toys belong to her and it is very wrong of you to take them.  Give her back her toys.  Be nice.  Be a good boy.  Show mama you know how to share.”  This also works for a little while because he relents and tell me, “Ok, mama, I will” and he does.  How do I make this one stick?

The Distraction.  I love this one because this is the one I’ve had the most success with.  My son loves to go to work with my husband on his slow days and these are the times that I take advantage of.  When I see a fight brewing or if my son is acting like a little brat, I tell him to get ready because his dad is going to take him to work with him.  He immediately drops everything and away he goes!  Of course, my daughter is delighted!

These methods are not fool-proof and I don’t like to use them all the time.  I try to steer my daughter in different directions and towards other interests just to deflect a fight.  I don’t like doing these things because I think that it teaches my son that his behavior is ok when it’s not.  I gently talk to him all the time and try to explain to him that he should share and I constantly show him by example how to do so without seeming to talk over his head.  I worry because he will be entering kindergarten in the Fall and I worry that he will take this habit with him into the classroom.  I know teachers teach children how to share.  I don’t know why it doesn’t work at home because I do the same thing.  What do I do?  AHHH!


Mrs. Horvath's Kindergarten

Mrs. Horvath's Kindergarten

One Response to Please Share!

  1. Kigede says:

    oh it will be easy to say he aint goingto get aenohtr toy if he breaks this one but i know how hard that can be for the parent and also with kids they need to visualise this cus they usually can spot empty threats get him two toys put one in view but out of reach and go if he breaks the one u gave him he will NOT be getting the other one u will be returning it to the shop cus his five u could say it has to survive atleast five days b4 he gets the other one >>>if he breaks the first take him with u when u get a refund for the other one>>>>and try it all again a week later tell him to remember his trip back to the shop>>>if he doesnt break it withi 5 days give him the second one and get him to start a collection of playable toys>>>> and do this a few times>>oh best to try with cheap toys like those small cars

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